That instinct to avoid if not perfect

Today I had a number of great conversations with other ceramic artists.  One of the conversations I had revolved around blogs. I have a blog, that I wished I used more. Almost daily I think, ‘Oh! That’s something I could write about it!” and then my insecurities get the better of me.  I second guess if I should write and never do. I have this thing I do, where if I’m going to do something-I’m going to do it right!  -or never do it at all. And that isn’t healthy.

So I have been trying to combat that instinct to avoid if not perfect.

I started taking piano lessons earlier this year. Trying something unfamiliar is tough. And sooooo good. I am up to four versions of Chugga Chugga Choo Choo….with a version of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star at the end.

I felt so insecure during my second lesson. I hadn’t practiced hardly at all and I felt like a little kid trying to pull off something without the experience to back it up. And I was not my self. It was so weird. I thought, “where did that Emily come from?”

It was not easy to shrug off that lesson. I started wondering if I would pull off this attempt at something new in my already crazy full life. A month went by…..traveling, spring break, life stuff and then Clayton (my almost 7 year old son and I) went back for our piano lessons.

I actually did ok.  And it wasn’t as scary. I did not feel as guilty about my lack of practicing. Maybe because, well, I won’t be able to practice as much as I “should” or as much as I think others might. But my teacher is so cool.  And patient. I why am I letting my head get the better of me?!

Here is a blog post by my desire to learn the piano. When listening to piano music and I now have an inkling of what that takes! We have this great old piano lent to us and I want to take advantage of that. Despite my guilt, insecurities or desire to be good right away, I will have to just push through all that and sneak in 10 minutes here and there. And maybe I will be able to do that with this blog too.

Thanks for reading.  Emily


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